Here I sit...
Trying to keep busy so to not think of it...
Resisting Isolation is hard...
All my life it was so easy to shut down and stay in neutral...
To keep my head down and keep going and be the caretaker in my home...
You all have no idea the struggle, the battle, the war I fight within myself everyday...
It is very very, I mean extremely hard for me to trust people and make friends, and I am scared too...
Imagine that, me scared? hmmm...
It seems I get close to people and then they leave...
I am always the supportive friend, and the friend that always says goodbye to people...
I mean I have no family, they all turned their backs on me, Jayson's family is no better, I just feel alone alot, like it is just Jay and me and the kids and no one else....
I have made connections with a few people, and I am scared, I am happy to of made those connections, but I am scared, you know?
Ya...
Trying to keep busy so to not think of it...
Resisting Isolation is hard...
All my life it was so easy to shut down and stay in neutral...
To keep my head down and keep going and be the caretaker in my home...
You all have no idea the struggle, the battle, the war I fight within myself everyday...
It is very very, I mean extremely hard for me to trust people and make friends, and I am scared too...
Imagine that, me scared? hmmm...
It seems I get close to people and then they leave...
I am always the supportive friend, and the friend that always says goodbye to people...
I mean I have no family, they all turned their backs on me, Jayson's family is no better, I just feel alone alot, like it is just Jay and me and the kids and no one else....
I have made connections with a few people, and I am scared, I am happy to of made those connections, but I am scared, you know?
Ya...
"When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you..."
"...I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be..."
(Lines from Reba's I'll Be.)
1 comment:
As nice as it is to have support and friends, etc. when it comes down to it at the end it will just be you and Christ...remember He is always with you, even when family and friends let you down (and they will because they are only human)
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