FlashBacks...
Lately I have been experiencing flashbacks of my past, you may say I am just remembering things, but I call them flashbacks because when they happen it is like my reality, the present drifts away and I am back there living it all again, the feelings flood forward, and last night about 11pm I was having them as I lay in bed trying to get to sleep, and I almost started to cry...it took me a while to fall asleep...
Yesterday, earlier I saw James Taylor on Oprah, ok I heard him first, and the song was Fire and Rain, and it took me back to my childhood, riding in my Dad's Black Cryslar, with Beige Leather Seats, alot of my childhood was not so great, (as well as my older years etc) and lately I have been trying to remember something that was good, and even though there was no communication in my Dad's Car when he use to take us for random rides through the country, he would crank the music (such as James Taylor) and I remember the windows rolled down, music flowing, wind in my hair, sun on my face, the smells of grass after it had been cut, those were tiny snippets that I miss, the innocence in that, the simpleness, the beauty I felt as a little girl in that moment, not from anyone, but just as I was, I was such a dreamer back then (still am) and on those car rides I would dream, my eyes would always be out that window, never on who was in the car, it was like time was frozen for me and moving at the same time, make sense?
Yes Fire and Rain is a sad song, but songs by James Taylor especially I remember hearing alot on those rides, and that song struck a chord in me yesterday, took me back to a time I had forgotten...
I felt it was a gift to remember that, that God saw I was so desperate to remember something about my past that was peaceful to me...and what a blessed gift...
This whole experience for me, remembering that time, was amazing, I could see myself as a child, pig tails (before I got it all cut off) so innocent, a dreamer, and it was like I was hugging my younger self, you may not get that part, but you don't have to, I get it, the feeling I mean, brings me to tears right now thinking of it all.......
Finally a flashback that was so good and peaceful...after so many bad ones, thank you Father...
1 comment:
I haven't heard that James Taylor song (and still haven't as there is no audio on my computer right now!) but we played "Sweet baby James' a lot when James was a baby! And a few months ago I got a James Taylor Christmas album. I love his voice :)
I am glad that there are some good memories.
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