Knock Knock, Purolator!

After the package being sent out Monday Morning at 9am, we finally received my precious Keys at 1:30pm today, I was not here, I was fed up on waiting, and I was at the Market, and Wading Pool, and Shopping LOL!!!

But they are here YAY!

I got my Mail and good thing there was something that I have to send out for Elijah's school that has to be there by the 5th....

So only some small grocery shopping tomorrow YAY!

Tuesday is coming fast for Elijah, I am so excited!

Well off I go, no major emotions today, or songs or antics, just me LOL!

Tra La!

( I do not like Purolator!)

Take A Bow

"Take a bow, the night is over

This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down

There's no one here..."

Reflecting is not something I just occasionally do, I have found I do it regularly, almost daily...

What is the trigger? Music...

I was a teen that reverted to Music as way of coping with my outer environment...

So now when I hear a song, not every time but sometimes it is like an automatic flash back to that memory, to what was occurring around me.....I use to obsess about music, always in my room listening to something while reading or writing, or just looking out my window...

Especially if I was mending a broken heart as well, this song Take a Bow was a song that I listened to while pinning after a guy in high school, I had known him my whole life, nothing occurred between us, it just wasn't in the pages for us, but I remember listening to this song and thinking I just had to let go of him, and let life be......it was sad for me, a sad depressing time, but you never forget your first love really.........

It is funny I remember listening to alot of Alanis Morisette too during my angry days, and listening to alot of Celine Dion during my many boyfriend phase (no I was no hootchie!)....

Man you can so tell I was a teenager in the 90's LOL!

When we are teenagers, we are so messed up too aren't we, I mean charged with hormones and emotions, man, looking back I think wow I survived that... I mean I know not all of us went through what I did but still growing up, trying to find out who you are, where you want to go in life, it is intense...

"...Wish you well, I cannot stay

You deserve an award for the role that you played..."

Kitchener

Jayson's Aunt lives in Kitchener, and she on Saturday along with her daughter Sierra came down in a van bringing the twin bed and high boy from our storage unit in Kitchener, when they got here I met them at the side door and had no pockets to put my keys in, so Sierra took them and put them in her pocket......

Time rolled on, Sierra ended up upstairs taking care of my boys, and when all was done they had to rush out to get the van back to Kitchener before a certain time, nobody thought about the keys, Sierra had even changed after she got up here, still she left my keys in her bag....

2 hours after it came to my mind that my keys were traveling.....

And seeing as my only mail key is on them they are going to courier them today over night and require a signature that way we will be sure to get them.....

There you go my Key Story...

Keys?

8 1/2 days left...

Elijah goes back to school, and I am ready for him to go, I love him but it is time...

My Keys are currently in Kitchener, and my only mail key is on them...

So they can not mail them to me LOL!!!

FedEx it is...

Elijah's big boy bed is here finally, I put it together myself too!

Since Wednesday I have been on the go constantly, perhaps today will be a day of rest?

Perhaps???

Realized no one will be around for my birthday again...I want to plan a party for Jay's 30th Birthday which is three days before mine, but no one is here.........

All I want to do for my birthday is go to dinner, have some laughs, go see a movie maybe, and be childless during it all.....perhaps even go shopping???

Anyway that is not until November 3rd anyway...*hint LOL!

This week I hope is slower than previous weeks, got Elijah's stuff for school too, indoor shoes, outdoor shoes, 2 new outfits....we are set...

Time to plan his and Raphael's birthdays too!!! AHHH!

I am hoping to go to the Movies with Katherine and Erika Tuesday night, Erika gets home tomorrow but she seems interested in going still LOL!

Hmmm....

30th post!

Today has been so very long and busy, and as a result of my escapades my back, ankles, calves, and eyes are sore.......

I got up with the boys, had to run across the street for more milk, then back here, did typical Mom stuff, then Elijah and I headed out at 9am to run errands and grocery shop......2 hours, 4 places later we were home, one hour after that I was finished putting everything away, yes I am very tideous and particular about how things are put away in my kitchen, spent 30 minute recuperating, then I realized I did not get the much needed aspirin we are out of and I proceeded to take the boys back out to Loblaws to do so, and we walked home, big mistake for my back, then threw two loads in the wash and did that, did dishes and tidy up in between all that, and now I am done for now, my eyes are quite heavy........

I still have some more to do, like make my ginger lime crush for tomorrow's beach trip with Katherine and Michelle and of course the Tench Clan, and little Kelly as well!!! Plus get things organized to take tomorrow, diaper bag things really, and clean up the mess I made in my bedroom before I can go to bed, plus of course Mom things like get kids to bed etc.........

Although I am so busy I took some time to sit here and fight my pain and exhaustion to type this LOL!

My whole week is busy, tomorrow the beach, Friday respite worker comes and we have to get things ready for Jayson's Aunt coming Saturday with Elijah's big boy bed from the storage room in Kitchener, church Sunday, Monday nothing, Tuesday hopefully go to the movies with Katherine and Erika, and then it is getting ready for Elijah to go back to school, which reminds me I have to get to Walmart somehow to get him 'indoor' shoes for school and I was thinking about getting Raphael pictures done before his birthday?....hmmmmm.....

And there is lots of Birthdays coming too, first Raphael turns 1, then Elijah 4, then Jayson 30, then me 27, wow!!! Jo calls it the Tench Family Birthday Celebration Season LOL!!!

I smell a foul baby in my midst YAY! NOT! LOL!

I must go now....ugh * Kelly logs of blogger and prays that God will take away her ability to smell for this next Motherly task...

"I know, that when you look at me
there`s so much that you just don't see..."

Water Runs Dry...

Someone told me recently that I was talking in code in my blog, and I am here to announce that is the point! That is how this girl writes at times where she wants to reveal she is upset/happy etc without really actually coming out and saying it..........

Probably not a good way of releasing ones emotions properly, but it is who I am at times...

Today I woke up with another one of those black clouds over me, I am content with my life, love my family to no end, but that cloud can linger at times and I am fed up....

God can heal in an instant, and he can also heal you over time, I believe he s healing me over time...

I often beat myself up alot, not physically lol, but mentally, I see my destination, where I want to be, past all the hurt and pain, and yet I can not get there fast enough, that is where utter patience comes in, and at times I lack patience big time....trying desperately not to allow my past to dictate my present day to day life, but it is hard, and yet many people claim it to be easy, I say it is easier said than done!

There are times where the cloud has no affect on me:

-when I am singing, which I no longer do in public
-when I am playing with my kids
-when I am with friends
-when I am at church and worshiping God
-when I am busy basically

So, hmm it only really has an affect when I am doing nothing, therefore should I keep busy always?

I also tend to hold a mask in front of my face not allowing anyone to really know how I am really...
Bad trait I know LOL!

My way of thinking is my friends don't need to have a sad Kelly all the time and they don't need to hear my dumping per say.....so when they ask how I am I fake a smile and say "I'm alive" they laugh and then look concerned and I say "no really I am good!" and that is that no more questions therefore no need to dig up my feelings and force myself to feel them......

I am clever I know....

Truth is I know I will be okay, I always am, the cloud will dissipate, the Sun will shine and the Water will Run Dry...

The Forgotten

I think it has finally happened to me...

I am on that list now...

Did it all ever really happen?

Was it a dream?

I think it has finally happened to me...

Confidence

One of my Driving Forces is this Little Man!

____________________________________________

I lack it, confidence...

I tend to put on this front with everyone that I can do it, I can do it all...
I don't need help, I don't need anything because I am so confident in everything...

But most of the time I am flying through on wings of hope, and "Lord let this be the right choice..."

Today it is 2 years since I made a decision that I can remember that I was 1000% sure of, 1000% confident in...

I am trying hard not to let my past dictate my present...

It is not as easy as I would like it to be, or how people make it sound...

"Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go..."