Trembling, scared out of my mind I crept up to the door, and it opened, and a bright light shone over me...

His hand stretched out for me, and I hesitated...

Behind me the darkness of what once was still screams at me, those words, those curses...

Their hands are strong as they grip into me...

Tears flow, fear is massive...

The verse from my favorite song comes to my mind (King of Glory by Third Day)

"Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me..."

Tears are not controlled anymore, I am overflowing with thanksgiving, that he loves me in spite of all my insecurities, and all my fears...

His hand still stretched out to me...

I reach back and once my hand touches his all darkness fades, and there I am on the floor, laying in his lap and weeping...

Asking myself why did it seem so hard? When really it was easy...

Being told for over 20 years that you were never important, that your needs never mattered, and that you were not worth the time to love....it grates at your spirit, the feelings of being anyone's burden is a haunting reminder of the past, but he does not want me to feel that anymore, he does not want me to carry all that around anymore, it is too heavy, and all it is doing is weighing me down...

The Lord is Good indeed, Indeed the lord is good!