The Latest in the Search for my Biological Dad...

Heard from someone in Hamilton about Gary, and they sent this:


---Oh he has read this ! Have no doubt of that lil girl. Whats to be done bout it is questionable at this time. Its not just about you and your father any more !!! And its not about just finding out about the other half of you. There is more halfs involved !! take care of yourself baby Kelly

After I e-mailed this:

---Who are you in all this?
How do you know if he has read this or not?
I know it was more than me involved, but I have a right to answers, I need closure...
I don't want him in my life, I do not want to disrupt his life, I need to see what he looks like, and ask a few questions, I don't want any money or anything in that nature...

Then they sent three words:

---Here you go--- and sent two pics of a man standing on a ferry at night, and I can not even make out facial expression etc...frustrating...

I then asked the following:

---Is that him? The picture is so dark? and How do you know it is him? Who are you? Do you have a clearer picture?


Then I asked:

---And how do you know you have the right Gary?
Please give me some answers, it is appreciated...

So I got another e-mail:

---Ok Kelly ok. lol I will answer a few questions for you. I am very close to Gary. I personally read the add to him. Yes there are more pics avail. Yes you have siblings you are not aware of. No Gary is not in Ont. I am not always online, and occasionally do not have service for months at a time. Often for days at a time... See More. That is true for Gary as well, of course Its been a long time, 27 yrs. and a lot of water has gone under the bridge. Be patient, I want nothing from you. what so ever. Time can be a cruel master. and in this particular instance is not unlimited. Gary has a few questions that he would like answers to. Why don't you talk with your mother ? how is gail ? You have married? And he would like your pic . take care Kelly---

So I e-mailed back:

Ok...

Who are you in relation to him? (this is imporant for me to know who you are)
And how do I know we are talking about the same Gary?... See More

Growing up my mother told me alot of lies and it was hell, so it has now made me a paranoid person, how do I know this is for real? How do I know you are genuine and not just her (as she has played games with me before) with a fake account?

But if this is for real...

May I have a clear picture of him?

Why do you guys not have internet all the time?... See More

This is what my mother told me about him, the only info I have ever had to go on:

That he physically abused her constantly, told her he wanted to have a baby with her and then after said he did not want me, she told me he tried to run her down in a car while pregnant with me, he once at my grandmother's house when she (my Nan) was upstairs told her he could kill her, my mom said she almost lost me a few times because of the abuse, she finally 'got away from him' her words, and had to fight for custody of me, when I was newborn she told me he came over and they were having an argument and he grabbed a glass bottle and came at me with it to kill me, and 15 years ago when she got married her husband adopted me and she told me that when it came time for Gary to sign papers he said and I am quoting her " as long as I do not have to pay you any back child support I will gladly sign her away"...

That is all I know about him, what she told me...

My mother now has MS, Multiple Sclerosis, and is married to a man who made my life hell....as well as she did, my childhood/teen life was not happy whatsoever...

I do not talk to her anymore because she all my life was emotionally abusive and controlling, and 3 1/2 years ago things 'went down' and... See More I decided it was best for me and my family to walk away, and in doing this my mom's whole side of the family and 'his' abandoned me, believing her lies and thinking that I am in a controlling relationship, which is so far from the truth and way off base, and yes I am married, 7 years this May, and he is an amazing, and supportive man through all of this, and has fallen victim to my mother's abuse, I also have two sons, Elijah and Raphael, Elijah is almost 5 1/2 and Raphael is almost 2 1/2...

Not talking to her has helped me finally break free and become the woman I am meant to be, not the woman she was trying to make me...

There is more but I am not comfortable just yet divulging, but will later...
... See More
I want to know if he has changed?
If he ever thought about me?
And why I was so easily forgotten or easily signed away?

A question for you:

What were you doing on Kijiji? and why were you looking in that category?

What do you mean: time is a cruel master and in this particular instant is not unlimited...?

Do you mean that because of the varying internet access? or is he ill?

I do not want to disrupt his life, I just finally need closure, all my life I felt like I was a mistake, and abandoned, and easily forgotten, all in which had led me into alot of issues, I just want truth, and that is all...

To know I have siblings brings me comfort because I grew up alone, my mother made sure I was always alone, making the outside world seem so horrible compared to how she was treating me, it has been a blessing to break free from that...

As for a picture of me, I do not have one accessible yet but will...... See More

You know sometimes when I was a kid and life was really bad I would find myself wondering about him and if he was really like she said, and I would pray that he would come rescue me from her...

See when most parents were protecting their kids from monsters in the closet or under the bed, my "parents" were those very monsters, I never felt safe with them...

Just thought I would tell you that.

Kelly.


Then I received this:

---Dear Kelly or Gail, Gary sat down and wrote a reply to you , that adressed every single solitary question you asked. and then some. Including copy of your original birth certificate, copies of court documents, photos of you when you were just a baby, And then Gary thought about your question. How do you know this is not ... See Moreyour mother ! And then Gary thought to himself , How does he know you are not really Gail ? And so it was decided to save that reply for the moment. its just a click on the send button away. If this is your mother , you know perfectly well Gail !! That Gary never signed any consent to an adoption, and that Gary refused.to do so. Gary was in court and granted acess 4 times.. Gary wanted Kelly ! So this is another of your ploys Gail. Don't you ever quit trying to hurt me ?
You really are pathetic Gail.

And then I replied this:

---I am not Gail, I am Kelly Tench currently residing in Kingston Ontario, this is not her, I have not spoken to her since 2006..two days ago my Aunt Mary whom I have not talked to either found my ad posted in Belleville and threatened me that I had originally put Hobbs after Gail and that if I did not take the last name off I would be reported, and then she told me she called her and I go so mad at her cause I do not want her to know my business....I can send you a picture of me if that helps, but I really want to know my answers....I have attached a picture of me and my husband on the day my son Raphael was born, it is in the operating room.....

How was the adoption carried through then? My last name was changed?

I hope you believe me, I have waited 28 years for these answers (I just turned 28 in November)......

If you would like my husband Jayson Tench can e-mail you?
I am going to forward this to my husband as well...

And please tell me who you are? and has my mother hurt you as well before?


I am now waiting for a reply, hoping and praying for God's hand to be on this...

Lots of unanswered questions...