I have been told lately that I have changed...for the good mind you but that I have changed just the same......

I just hope it is not too much for the loved ones I have abroad that will in months come home and see me...

I feel different...

Stronger even, more loved than ever in my whole 28 year span of life...

My mind feels very clear, especially right now as I make this revelation...

I also feel like it is about time for me to feel this way...

I really don't know 100% if that 'Frank Allard' is my real father, but I received a gift in our communication, I was finally set free from the bondage that my mother put upon me all those years...

Now I know there is alot still to work on, but it has been 4 months into this 2010 Healing year for me and wow!

I have learned to stop defining myself by how others interact with me or don't interact with me...

I have realized I can not change people if they think bad things of me, and there is no sense worrying about it because they are not wasting their time fretting at all...

I think I have put my past to rest, well I am atleast 85% of the way there...

I recently watched the movie 'Things We Lost in the Fire' and it was an eye opener, I may of lost alot in the fire that were my mother and stepfather, but I have gained so much more...

I have gained many realtionships that I consider closer than my actual blood relatives, God carefully placed certain people on my path at the right times to make up for all I lost...

And these people are so kind, and gentle, I have never been around people like that, that are just nice to be nice, not with an agenda you know...

I would be lying if I said I was not emotional at all about the people in my family who chose to turn their backs on me......

I think the only person that has done this that actually gets me choked up and feeling so sad and hurt is my Grandmother......She was my best friend and my rock when I did not know who the true 'rock' was, she made me feel safe as a child when she visited, but it is what it is as many say...

I fear the next time I see her we will be with the Father in Heaven...God be with me when and if I find out she has passed on...God be with me please...

I just hope the Father is proud of me...

I am just very thankful this morning, all the pain and suffering was worth it...

Okay.....that is all I am up for at the moment...

Blessings.